ponder Construction

Clinton asks supers to commit in private
-Politico.com headline


so first she said it's up to the voters.
then she said it's up to the superdelegates.
now, she's saying it's up to privately pledged superdelegates.

Hillary wins State of Denial Primaries
-grumpy karL

One of the things that I learned in the school yard was: the folks that are talking tough all the time, they’re not always that tough. If you’re really tough, you’re not always looking to try to start a fight. If you’re really tough, sometimes you just walk away. If you’re really tough, you just save it for when you really need it.

-Barack Obama

my roommates are usually away on the weekends and so i get the room all to myself. reminds me of times when the folks are away and i get the house all to myself. i like it.

i like being alone. yes, it can get all loser-like sometimes but reading a book in some cafe alone can be really really swell. i watch movies alone sometimes. i try out a new food place alone sometimes. i get lost in a new city alone sometimes. i spend sundays alone sometimes.

sometimes, yes, i am forced to spend time alone. say, no one is simply available. especially on sundays when everyone is with family. but most times, it simply is a choice to be alone. an excellent choice at that.

okay.
i sound like i am over-rationalizing, merely sugarcoating such a dreadful lonely lifestyle. i do admit it can get really dull and dreary but what i find interesting is how i catch myself laughing at myself for thinking how the day's suddenly all dull and dreary.

yes, laugh at yourself. sometimes, it is all it takes to save the day.


lisnin to Falling Slowly from Once
sorta readin The Hobbit. thanks rob and steph for your geekiness.
feelin kinda stinky. sunday is no bath day.

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
-Glen Hansard in Once

“Being asked tough questions in a debate is nothing like the pressures you face inside the White House,” Clinton said Friday. “In fact, when the going gets tough, you just can’t walk away because we’re going to have some very tough decisions that we have to make. I think we need a president who can take whatever comes your way.”

-CNN Article, April 21, 2008


The Clinton campaign has been complaining recently – more so since she has fallen behind – that the news media is tougher on her than Obama. Clinton also joked, "Maybe we should ask Barack if he's comfortable and needs another pillow.” It's a tactic as old as politics: things aren't going well, blame the media.

-CNN Article, February 26, 2008

i pray it would ease the tummy pain, this drink with fido on it.

somebody needed help the other night, can't remember the words but i said sure. another needed some too, but i didn't even consider replying.

how many times do i have to say NO... is this for saying YES one too many times... and just when you think the tummy pain is gone, you fall asleep...

only to wake up at seven realizing it still is there. go away.

 

lisnin to David Cook's Always Be My Baby we were as one babe
for a moment in time
and it seemed everlasting
that you would always be mine
now you want to be free
so I'm letting you fly

um...


well, apparently it did.

i'm back to my old rationalizing self again, always ready with an excuse at every turn. and it's pretty convenient and laidback and easy and breezy and all.

but it can get less and less interesting. worse, unproductive.
by wednesday, i'm going to have a more regular schedule thanks to this internship and i'm looking forward to being trained again. hooray.

but between now and wednesday, i hope it gets a lot easier to say for sure that it really did happen.


lisnin to 4 Minutes
sorta readin The Wisdom of Crowds, finished with Part 1 and i can't wait to read all of it.
feelin kinda gas-y.

did that

i know i'm supposed to make the move
but it would help





if you smiled a little bit longer.

...but alone is alone not alive.
somebody crowd me with love
somebody force me to care
somebody make me come through
I'll always be there
as frightened as you
to help us survive
being alive!

-Being Alive, from Stephen Sondheim's Company

teacher zuri made me sing this song today
and boy did those words hit the mark. dang.

i have important things to do but i'm not doing any of them.
i was walking and walking yesterday, just walking and i took it all in.

but alone is alone not alive.
i should have not gone away just like that. my rose was for you.
don't let my cartoon ruin it for you.

make me alive
make me confused
mock me with praise
let me be used
VARY MY DAYS!

but alone is alone not alive.
and i miss you. may your journalist days be well.

some of you might have heard of the last lecture of Randy Pausch already. i've received a couple of emails about it, some saw him on Oprah already and Ms Cheche Lazaro mentioned him in her speech to the graduates of 2008.

it is easy to google his video or find him in youtube. it's around 100minutes of him but here are some of his reminders:

when you're screwing up and nobody's saying anything to you anymore, that means they gave up ...that's a very bad place to be. your critics are the ones telling you they still love you and care.

brick walls aren't there to keep us out. they are there for a reason: they let us prove how badly we want things.

wait long enough and people will surprise and impress you... when you're pissed off at somebody and angry at them, you just haven't given them enough time. just give them a little more time and they almost always will impress you.

it's very important to know when you're in a pissing match and it's very important to get out of it as quickly as possible.

they both said the same thing but think about how they said it.

the best gold is at the bottom of barrels of crap.

if people give you feedback, cherish it.

luck is where preparation meets opportunity.


and on a seperate interview, he says this:

once you start shading the truth, it's amazing how far you can rationalize.
but if you just hold to the integrity of "i'm gonna tell you the truth all the time...."
there are so many times in my life where 2 months, 2 years, 10 years, 20 years later somebody says: "you know, i dealt with this Pausch guy and he always told me the truth and now i'm in a position to maybe help him out."
and being the kind of person other people wanna help is the most objective way i can describe lead your life the right way because it's a very tangible, selfish payoff that you could be motivated by.

She raises her arm to scratch her nape. She waits, unsure if she should be relieved. Part of her is curious as to where he is, another part mad at the other for being remotely concerned.

But she is relieved. She is, well, still alive and all in one piece.
But still, that curious part of her pinches her ear lobe every now and then. As if some part is, well, not there. She glances at her notebook, comforted by the thought that she has much work to do. She cannot afford to miss this deadline. Not again.

No urge to begin, though. She places her pen on the table, grabs it again and taps it on her forehead. The taps wake no idea up. She is thrown back to that one neat night. She resists but is overwhelmed by her desire to stay.

She is back and she is not leaving.
And the pieces of a story went falling into place as her pen on the table jumped to life.
As her pen on the table jumped to lie.

mikey and pola.
two wonderful people.

we miss reg.
we miss kakki.
we miss vica.
we laughed at vica.

but i had a good time
just catching up
on what pola and mikey are now up to.

and no matter how many tears mikey will have to shed thanks to puns intended
or how many tears of joy i have to shed thanks to pola's stories
or how many tears pola will have to shed thanks to her company secretary's menstrual period

i will be thankful to two of them people
who will not be too conscious
of my inconsistencies.

thank you pola! imelda tour with mikey soon. PLEASE.
lisnin to Through the Fire
sortof readin Sociological Imagination
feelin kinda happy.

a friend of mine shared
that after going through something really sad,
you'll never be as happy as you were before.

maybe because you are now a different person
a changed man.

it sounded a lot more sad than that though
when he shared it.

did not quite believe the thought entirely.
until it dawned on me
while jogging on campus

how easy it was to associate any thought, any statement
to a bad memory

then it haunts you
then a rush of emotions
then you just want to stop and take it all in.

then pray to God that
yes, i'll never be as happy
but i better be happier.


now on a much more cheesy note,
here's a really cool video for the graduating seniors of 2008.
good job gali, james and anj!



here's to the haunting.

there are days when you don't feel like taking a bath.
today is one of them.



my muscles are still a bit sore after wall climbing with anton and bea last thursday. boy, did i make a sissy out of myself. three times i told myself i couldn't finish climbing wall B and took me a good while to let go so i could finally be lowered. thanks bea, anton--we will climb again, i will not fail you.

new blueREP officers were inducted last night. between rounds of billiards and rounds of good drinks and catching up with people i haven't seen in a while. we're a noisy bunch but its almost always the good noisy kind. toodlidoo


lisnin to No Air
sorta readin The Wisdom of Crowds. i thought it would be best to read it bit by bit.
feelin kinda full.

hello heat
it's been a while
i'd like to say goodbye
but... um, smile. smile.

i have shared before why i now want her out.
what i have failed to share was why you won't see me out in the streets just to remind her that i want her out.

Fr. Huang recently endorsed the Guidelines on the National Situation prepared by the Jesuit Philippine Province Commission on the Social Apostolate.

if you want a soft copy, you may download it here
or if that doesn't work, you may read it here in my blog

if you have survived reading tons of pages of marcel or of the proslogion or of florante at laura, then this 10-page guide should be a no-brainer for you. so please do read it. SERIOUSLY.


i have to admit
that what has been happening to me lately between sleeptime
has no semblance, whatsoever, of a national crisis.

sure, there's the occasional invitation to a meeting about this whistleblower or the curiously-increasing-in-frequency headline about a food crisis (from wheat to rice to corn) or the security officer down here at My Place inquiring whether there are still Team RP "Ang Pilipinas ay hindi isang pamilya lamang." T-shirts

but everyone seems to be having a jolly good time.
even the kid who is selling banana cue so he can play DOTA afterwards.

not that we don't deserve to have a jolly good time.
i'm just bothered with the fact that the first issue i check whenever i go online is always about how Obama will eventually win over Hillary. every other issue is secondary.

even the one about this group calling Cardinal Vidal some name.
is it just me or this "national crisis" has just gotten so disappointingly confusing.

from the whole Spratlys debate between pre-exploratory or exploratory to the fuss about the three questions Neri should not answer. or maybe i'm just reading too many of Conrado de Quiros' articles.

in any case, do read the guidelines.
once you do, i can treat you to coffee then let's talk about it.


P.S.
Fr. Huang's endorsement letter brilliantly ends with: “if some, in conscience, differ with the positions taken here, let that dissent be presented with civility and intelligence, as input for the continuing task of communal discernment towards that which will serve the true good of our country.” right before the Easter greetings, of course.

i didn't really tell anyone i was in a play for a friend's directing class last wednesday.

one, i assumed everyone was on vacation mode.
two, i was making out on stage.

it wasn't awkward or dirty or tasteless, i just didn't feel like inviting anyone to see me make out. even if a few days before the show our blocking was changed, so it wasn't as blunt as it originally was envisioned.

Balot. Tula. Dibdib.
Lallie Bucoy's 10-minute play revolved around these three and i had so much fun doing it. for the first time after exactly one year, i was back on stage. the audience loved it too, and dr. ricky abad, i think.

point is: thank you rayna, diega, niccolo, jay and sandra for the experience.

boy, do you have to watch this movie!


you may want to wax philosophical all throughout the movie ('cause you won't run out of thoughts to ponder on) or simply have a jolly good time.



so clark lost his phone
so i remind him about celebrating Easter Mass with the Sumilao farmers and Fr. Huang
so we go work on some speech because someone's the valedictorian
so we thought of watching a movie after dinner
so we bumped on Jun and his family at Eastwood
so we think Fool's Gold, Step Up 2, and Supah Papalicious are not worth watching
so we watched Horton Hears a Who!

and boy are we glad we did!
LAUGH TRIP!

Note to self: Never ever lose this.